"To Love, is to be Vulnerable"

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken.

If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal.
Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements.
Lock it up safe in the casket of coffin of your selfishness.
But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change.
It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.

To love, is to be vulnerable."

--C.S. Lewis

At this moment, I am standing at a crossroad, where I have to choose whether I should take risk or not.

I'm a fond believer of True Love; A kind, Patient, Not Envy, Not Pride, Not Self-seeking, Not Easily Anger. That always Protects, always Trusts, always Hopes and always Preserves.

(Corinthians 13:4-8)

until..

those beliefs met reality.

Reality teach me how to think, talk, walk, live and survive.

It makes me tough; how to stay smile in victory in front of my so-called-enemies.

It makes me work hard to achieve what I want.

And each day, the reality start to consume the faith of my true beliefs; the real me.

I've become bitter to the people around me.

I love less.

I hardly trust.

I become selfish.

I'm angry all the time.

One day, I met a person. A guy.

At first, people who talked to him will think that his life is almost perfect.

Everyone likes to hang out with him, likes to talk to him, seek him for wisdom on how to set your feet to the ground to live this life, or maybe to know the secret to his success life.

I got a chance to know him a little better than anyone else.

And all I see, is that, he's hurt.

He's haunted by the past, and hurt.

It is drawn in his bare eyes that he is deeply hurt.

He felt insecure for his own feelings, for his heart, for his love.

He cover himself so badly, he become someone who came on too strong.

And I often cried for him.

I didn't even realized it at first, but I really cried for him.

At some point, getting to know him more each and everyday makes me feel his pain.

I started to feel worry about him, even though I know he take cares of himself better than I do.

I talked and acted carefully, just because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I mentioned his name in my prayers. In every prayers.

I've learned so many things from him,

but most importantly, there's one thing that he taught me, without him realizing it.

It is to believe in my old beliefs; to Love, again.

I started to care again, to trust again, to hope again.

And to be honest, up into this point, I don't even know, or care if this love that I'm feeling is heading to the right way or wrong way.

I don't even know if it's just me that felt like this, or does he felt the same way.

I'm not 100% sure if I'm okay with me, not knowing the exact situation that is happening to me right now.

But right now, I am just simply glad and grateful to feel this moment where I get to know him who become a little part of me and turning my world upside down, just to become the person I exactly am.

I was hurt, He was hurt.

But without our flaws, we will never meet at this point.

Without our failures, we will never be the person we are right now.

Without our vulnerable little hearts,

I don't think we will ever love like this.

Loving,

A