" I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends.. you still go to bed every night going over detail and wonder or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were THAT happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little piece of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."
- Iris (Kate Winslet on The Holiday)
Everyone always meet a breaking point.
A point where you feel trapped in the deepest pit hole, stuck, desperate and devastated.
A point where you think your life is begin to fade away from you.
Dreams, Hopes, Faith were slipped right out your fingertips.
Desperation seems to make you feel that you are no longer useful for your surroundings.
It makes you feel like it is better for you to die.
Every little things seems too big for you, and you just try to breathe, but it felt like whatever you're trying to do is a waste.
For a brief moment, you will looked to the past that you had, thinking of all the happiness you've experienced.
Thinking.. that the life you're living is a never-ending kind of life. Full of Happiness.
And while everyone is moving on with their lives,
You are left behind. Alone.
And you started to think that those people are cruel, and they only used you for their own good.
The people you think that they are your best friends, apparently didn't think the same way like you do.
You are stuck in a frozen momentums, without thinking that life goes on. Each and everyday.
You're caught up.
These kind of moments, usually take different time for each people.
Some experienced this for a short, maybe a week moment.
Some took years to realized.
And I believe, because of God's greatest gift, you are NEVER alone.
He always prepare an Angel to come and pick you up from your hole.
It could be anything or anybody.
A movie, a song, an experience, a story, and a person.
A moment where you see a light that will lift your hopes and dreams all over again.
And what you don't realized is, it is always there, around you.
All you gotta do is close your eyes, visualize, and aim high.
You are as worth as a precious gem.
The most expensive possession of all mankind.
And you need to take charge of your own life.
Do what makes you happy,
with all the people that makes you happy.
Do not ever feel that you are useless.
You live as a function.
To yourself, and to others.
It is true that you will always meet people that will try to harm you and try to bring you down.
It is true that you will always experience many moments that will drag you back to your hole.
But if you're focusing on preparing yourself to fall, you will never get out.
Cover your precious heart with faith, hold on and don't ever let go.
Because only you can do that to yourself, no one else could.
Tell yourself that you are beautiful, regardless what everyone said.
Tell yourself that you are strong, it doesn't matter even if you cry a lot.
Tell yourself that you are happy, and cheer everyone around you while they couldn't be happy.
To live, is to share.
And eventually, you will begin to feel you are more than just worthwhile, but you are whole.
Crawling out,
A
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